IN LOVING MEMORY OF REBOUND THE BAD ASS
Rebound “Fatty McPatty” Gillespie McCarthy was born (more or less) on February 14, 2007. Legend has it that she was one of a litter of six allegedly pure bred Boston Terriers, though never before and surely never again will there be a Boston with cow spots like hers. This litter was said to have had parvo, and also said to have been dumped at a vet’s office by the breeder, who said all the dogs must be put down. Understandably, the vet took one look at this little pack and wept and saved them. At which point they had the tremendous great fortune of finding a home at Kinky Friedman’s Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch, run by the amazing Cousin Nancy and her wonderful husband Tony.
Nancy had a friend, Spike, and Spike had a Boston mix named Bubbles, her soul dog. Knowing Spike’s love of the breed, Cousin Nancy called and said, “Want another?” And so it came to pass that Spike high tailed it to the ranch and was handed little Rebound.
Now there is never not a time Spike doesn’t love adopting rescued dogs. But at this particular time in her life she was so down. So very very very down. She was on the cusp of her second divorce. She was feeling as close to a nervous breakdown as one can get without actually having a nervous breakdown. She cried every day and every night.
It was during this very same time that a certain Big Red moved into Spike’s little Cherrywood house to be her roommate. The circumstances of this arrangement are a very long story for another day. But the bullet points are these—though Spike and Big had never married, they did have a wonderful son, The Amazing Henry, in 1990. And though they broke up in the early 1990’s, they stayed friends. So when Spike was losing her fucking shit during that divorce time, Big set up camp in the spare room to take care of her, and ask her to please smoke less and eat more, as at that point her only source of calories was the half-and-half she put in her coffee. Big brought her ice cream and Mexican cokes and gently coaxed her back to health.
So anyway, it was during this curious roommate situation that Rebound came to live with them, earning her name because, as the saying goes, everyone needs a Rebound. A funny thing happened early on: Rebound imprinted on Big Red and immediately came to look upon him as her mother. And while Big moved out a few months after moving in, once he felt confident Spike wouldn’t burn the house down whilst smoking in bed, the love affair between Big and Rebound remained, and mushroomed, and was a wonder to behold right to the very end.
Time marched on. Rebound really came into her own. She could do a 007 roll across the yard that astounded her humans. She took hell from Bubbles. She gave hell back. She acquired a series of amazing costumes, and was, at Spike’s insistence, a long suffering model of same. Her face always seemed to say, upon being squeezed into a Marilyn Monroe outfit, or a tutu, or a shark ensemble, “I will endure this, yes. But one night, I will rip your face off when you are sleeping.”
Rebound was also the Dutch Oven Duchess, constantly farting beneath the blankets, at once terrifying and astounding any human or dog in the vicinity.
She shuffled off her super soft cow-spotted furry mortal coil entirely too soon, on March 9, 2016, due to the effects of a brain tumor. She was cheerful to the end and did not suffer. As her life and ridiculous face brought joy to so many, so her release from life brought out such compassion in so many that her people are still reeling from the kindness. She spent her last days being celebrated extravagantly both in real life and in the virtual world. She spent her last hours eating beef jerky and being held and thanked repeatedly. She exited swiftly and softly with the assistance of the deeply kind Dr. Chris Huddleston, who came to the Tiny T Ranch with his assistant and lovingly lent Rebound a gentle hand crossing to the other side.
Rebound is survived by her best friend, Dantesaurus, who misses her terribly. She is also survived by her little sister PoPo, who never ceased to annoy the shit out of her. And her brother Norris, who will do his best to console one and all with his compulsion to hug anyone who steps into his personal space. She was preceded in death by her sisters Bubbles and Tatum, and her brothers Satch and Tiny.
On the day she died, it was requested that everyone fart loudly in her honor. Happily, hundreds of people have reported back that they did just that. In lieu of flowers, Rebound’s family asks that, from now on, anytime anyone farts, if you are within earshot you will please stop, arch and eyebrow, point at the farter (even if it is you) and say, faux accusingly, “REBOUND!!”
That would be so awesome.
On behalf of Big Red and myself I would again like to say thank you all so much for the endless love for Rebound over the course of her life and in the days leading up to her death. We are so grateful. Fucking Namaste.
